Full Episode Transcript

Dana Blouin

Welcome back to Bangkok strange. As you may notice, the co host has changed. Woody is unfortunately been detained in a black site outside the country again, again. So he may be back at some point Who knows? Hopefully, no big shout out to what he's got other stuff going on. He cannot continue to do the show on a full time basis. So very fortunate that my good friend Mike has stepped in.

Mike Somerville

Thank you, Mike. Appreciate it. Yeah, I'm psyched for this. It's gonna be really fun. Yeah.

Dana Blouin

And it's a great concept and you're a good fit. I mean, in you know, all props to Woody. Like I said, hopefully he'll come back and like a guest with us. Yeah, co host with us. That'd be dope. But he's gonna be doing some stuff where he's just not available. He can't even zoom in where he's at. So it is like that.

Mike Somerville

I mean, like that, so I know.

Dana Blouin

Yeah, yeah, he went on lockdown in the brothel. I mean, the other guys out of control.

Mike Somerville

lockdown in a brothel. That sounds like a great long weekend.

Dana Blouin

Like a month.

Mike Somerville

Yeah, that's the downside. 14 days. Oh, I got this.

Dana Blouin

Give me up this four weeks. So anyway, glad to have you here. I'm Bangkok change. And one of the things that I think will be interesting. You're newer to Bangkok on a full time basis than me. Absolutely. Yeah. So I've been here about eight years now. Okay. And you've been here about like eight days. Yeah, basically. And you've been some more parts of the country in eight days. And I've been and I just said, the quarantine

Mike Somerville

What are you kidding me? I'll just

Dana Blouin

come in my mouth. Like I've already been so cowboy. My immune system

Mike Somerville

is not compromised. Trust me. I have biotics and antibiotics. I can do all of this

Dana Blouin

probiotics biotics, antibiotic. They're all the bio. I've got the best biotics. I've got.

Mike Somerville

It's going to be the best biotics in the entire

Dana Blouin

I've used all the biotics no one has better biotics than me.

Mike Somerville

But I've got bionics

Dana Blouin

biotics, biotics, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama. So we'll we will probably revisit some of the original concepts that we talked about on the show things like, you know, the fucked up t shirts. You see that? Yeah, what's

Mike Somerville

your favorite one? Was that guy?

Dana Blouin

Yeah, I have the pussy. No, no, no.

Mike Somerville

So dead all day, every day. My mom's gonna be thrilled with this podcast. Michael,

Dana Blouin

what are you doing in Bangkok? That same shirt.

Mike Somerville

Ronnie started with the mother Joe.

Dana Blouin

Yeah, right off the bat right off the bat. Just get

Mike Somerville

to know each other.

Dana Blouin

But there's so much to talk about about Bangkok. And one of the things of it, you bet that all access sort of airasia pass so you're traveling a lot. So you'll be able to zoom in from other locations. And that'll be great. Yeah, like, down in, I think what's your next stop?

Mike Somerville

Next stop is suratthani within the van and the boat over to Copenhagen? Okay. I was I did that, but also then took the ferry over to Koh Samui about three weeks ago.

Dana Blouin

And just in Phuket, and then you went where

Mike Somerville

went to Phuket? Yeah, and then I went down to chum pond, I'd never been there. So I just did the flight down a chimp pond and then you know, motorbike kind of cruise around three or four days. I'm basically vacationing Monday through Thursday when nobody else is and those are the flights you can get though that so that's true. There are occasionally some that are available on Sunday but with this airasia pass as you might guess, you know, limited and that sort of thing. Yeah, so leaving Bangkok Friday evening coming back to Bangkok on Sunday evening. That's the fantasy Yeah, you know, but those people actually pay 1500 baht each

Dana Blouin

way not not

Mike Somerville

you not 100 but like

Dana Blouin

you're paying taxes maybe the upgrade to the red seat.

Mike Somerville

So yeah, that's the other thing too is that I first i thought you know what, here's what I'm gonna do I'm just gonna like you know do the cheapest I possibly can I'm gonna have seven kilos of you know backpack. But then I sat in one of the seats Yeah, nothing leg room and I said okay, forget it. Fernandez. I'm finally gonna give you 1000 baht

Dana Blouin

yeah my cash from Yeah, I need the exit row. He lined me bastard. Yeah, yeah, I tell you what, those if you don't have high expectations airasia is a great airline.

Mike Somerville

Yeah, as long as you have realistic expectations like everyone's like, Oh, they nickel and dime. No, no, that's okay. I don't mind being nickel and dimed.

Dana Blouin

I'll pay $12 Yeah,

Mike Somerville

for I'll pay dimes.

Dana Blouin

Unlimited. Unlimited leg room.

Mike Somerville

Yeah, effectively. Yeah. And also the other nice thing too is that even though they are sitting people next to each other now, you know with the quarantine anybody. There are very few people that believe they want to pay an additional $10 Yeah, so there's nobody in the exit row. Yeah, so that's you know, that

Dana Blouin

back row will be filled up all day. The Yes, zero leg room back row that doesn't

Mike Somerville

require recline. Yeah, exactly. You're hanging out with the flight attendants

Dana Blouin

thought that shit. Right, but I rocked up that a row 14 exit row. I know you like the 12 Yeah, I like aisle 14 guy. I like 12 Charlie or 12 Delta. Yeah, so um, I like the 14 CMD c but then you're reclining though.

Mike Somerville

And then you don't you you've never experienced it where you recline and the guy behind you is bam, bam, bam, bam, knees in your back because I get no knees because the people behind me if they're Thai, they're like seven meters away

Dana Blouin

from me can't even touch. They can't touch the ground. I like also like row one because you Got the bulkhead there you still have a ton of leg room

Mike Somerville

now you brought that up based on the the seating configuration in the new planes

Dana Blouin

the new plane versus the old plane.

Mike Somerville

I am in the habit of not doing row one because I cannot extend my legs as far as I want. I like row one ca because any of the first motherfucker off that oh I don't want it I don't care first, second, third ninth doesn't matter to me.

Dana Blouin

I'm on vacation dude, it depends. Sometimes you just want to be off first

Mike Somerville

now I don't because if I get off the plane first that's the first guy that's gonna get shot is there is a bunch of guys with M sixteens that are just like ready for some practice is

Dana Blouin

it just wait at the terminal the furthest terminal away from the entry point

Mike Somerville

because they can't afford a gym. First white ball guy that comes out? Does mine Yeah, and I don't want to be that guy. Done.

Dana Blouin

If you're gonna kill people, you're gonna ambush the apple you're not going to the Asian terminal 30 minute walks plushy

Mike Somerville

give you Oh yeah, I was armed robbery would you get about 19 baht and then get some full timers on airasia plane.

Dana Blouin

If you ever got off at Damiani, this is one of the strange things of Bangkok. And you see it other places but it's not as overt. Okay, you get an off a DOM young I don't know young young

Mike Somerville

not dumb. You're not dumb. Whoo.

Dana Blouin

No, not really. I'm young with like with a Y DMK. Yeah. See,

Mike Somerville

this is like all this new stuff that I'm learning. Not day nine. I'm already learning. This is great.

Dana Blouin

So when you come in is you fly airasia you're obviously not the swana Poon

Mike Somerville

they do now. Isn't that a real? Yes.

Dana Blouin

Oh, well, maybe you offline. But anyway, Tom young when you come out. And you're coming up the the the jetway, and you see the immigration police sitting there with their iPads, looking at their iPad. Looking at you. Yeah, look at that. Look at it. Yeah. And I look at their iPad. They're like texting their girlfriend. No, but they're like looking at photos of people who are supposed to stop for smuggling coke. And they're like, Oh, this is definitely not me. And I was like, I guarantee if I get to the other side and look at their iPad looks nothing like me. That's probably anime. sketcher you get to the side you look and you're like, Look, is that? Not even a white dude? Yeah. Occasionally, you'll see someone get busted or brought away.

Mike Somerville

I haven't seen that. That would be pretty exciting.

Dana Blouin

I came back from Malaysia once a three Chinese woman got off first. Okay. And they all got pinched by immigration. Like, right you don't know why though. It was it was on the news. Like two days later. Here we go luggage full of bootleg bags.

Unknown Speaker

Oh,

Dana Blouin

yeah, that makes sense. So smuggling in like fake product A Gucci? But is it I mean, that's so easy to profile.

Mike Somerville

Yeah. Chinese people with seven check in bags. You know, feel like

Dana Blouin

check it back. Yeah.

Mike Somerville

And they all they're doing is bringing the damn products back home that they

Dana Blouin

sold us here. So yeah, they make them in China to bring them back. Yeah, no, no. So they were bringing them here to sell

Mike Somerville

Ah, entrepreneurs. God, so there

Dana Blouin

was smuggling that good good for them. So a bunch of fake like bootleg Gucci bootleg products.

Mike Somerville

Well, very The good news is they caught them. Because I know there are no other products now like Thailand. Yeah,

Dana Blouin

there's no other crime that needs to be

Mike Somerville

they found the culprits

Dana Blouin

to some dude with like two kilos of coke in his ass. He made it through no problem. Why does it have to be in his ass?

Mike Somerville

Where else you gonna smuggle it? That's true. Plus the bum gun. You'd get that product right out? Yeah, rinse it out guy putting a gun to your head teaching get the day off. Don't worry about it. I got a bum gun. This

Dana Blouin

mom got a little bit of ky

Mike Somerville

shirt. Little bums on actually. Absolutely. Right. It's a great combo.

Dana Blouin

wine, high

Mike Somerville

pressure bomb gun. Well, as we were talking about earlier, one of the beauty strange things about Thailand that you notice when you come here the first time is they got all these sprayers everywhere. My first night here I'm staying at the JW and there's a spray and I'm thinking okay, really expensive hotels have these sprayers This is great. And then I go down to potty and I stay in a place. It's like 800 900,000 baht a night. They still got a sprayer. Yeah, I go into a public restroom. That is like actually in pretty good clean condition. And they got sprayers. Yeah, I'm like, this whole country is amazing.

Dana Blouin

I won't use the sprayer in a public restroom.

Mike Somerville

Why? What do you think's inside there? I know the guy with the ky. Yeah, yeah, he got into the public.

Dana Blouin

I don't know what people are doing with those in their public restrooms in their spare time. That's true. I bring wet wipes with me to the public restrooms. Really? Yeah.

Mike Somerville

Then do you wipe that? So no water? No water touches your acid, a public restroom. So if you and I go on a road trip, and you're like, Yeah, dude, I want to stop here. Then I'll be like, we need to find a hotel. You're gonna get back in this car. Soylent up this whole rent.

Dana Blouin

He's the one wash and clean up little soap little disinfected, deliver effective. I will tell you I learned the hard way. Dude. I was in a pinch. I was in one racha Tawny there was no spring. There's nothing no toilet paper. Nothing in the bathrooms. I had to buy wet wipes and I accidentally bought peppermint scented wet wipes. Do not let peppermint scented wet ways. Touch your bum.

Mike Somerville

It's gonna sting right?

Dana Blouin

I'm thinking for a long time. Right,

Mike Somerville

a very long time. And it wasn't like during Christmas time. I mean, you'd have like little elves following you like sniffing your back a dog would go. Wait a second. You've been taken grandpa's Candy.

Unknown Speaker

Candy Cane?

Mike Somerville

No, not quite. This is the theme of the show, right? I mean, I'm new here. So I mean, I'm just playing

Dana Blouin

it's all about one episode a week about bomb guns.

Dana Blouin

Guns and ask play. That's

Mike Somerville

mine. Matt asked me You're pretty close to a cowboy here.

Dana Blouin

I'm not close to my old place was NASA cowboy. I could see it from my rooftop. Did you used to throw like water

Mike Somerville

balloons? I wasn't

Dana Blouin

close enough to thrive Good.

Mike Somerville

Great place to judge though. Yeah, be like yeah, look at that bog. I mean, look at that guy down there. Yeah, he's cool.

Dana Blouin

Think I know it Nevermind.

Dana Blouin

Your mom's listen to the podcast.

Mike Somerville

Not anymore. Trust me after the first you know bad lag with Michael I'm very curious about the language. Who's this

Dana Blouin

data guy who you're hanging out with he's a little bit abrasive

Dana Blouin

I got some other friends introduce you to

Mike Somerville

this is not going up on my YouTube channel. So she's good. No worries.

Dana Blouin

Yeah, we'll be linking it though. So

Mike Somerville

right here we go. Yeah, copyright infringement first day.

Dana Blouin

Yeah, super. I'll be looking at all your tags and so on. So I show up in your recommended

Mike Somerville

I'm doing these beautiful beach walks out like suratthani or something like that. I'd like taking I go over to the beach. Doing these great beautiful i'd talking about gratitude and all just living comfortably in my own skin. And then the tags are like potty naked girls on ladyboy so like cowboy

Dana Blouin

What? Bangkok strange pops up as a recommended video what's going on actually recommended. So let

Mike Somerville

me Okay, so you and I have known each other for a little while. Yeah, he told me about Bangkok strange. I actually knew here's what's interesting. I I knew of the Bangkok strange podcast because living back home I just googled like pot Bangkok. Yeah. And I got you know, a couple other Bangkok podcasts but yours shows up number one or bars maybe now. Ours shows up number one in Spotify if you just type the word Bangkok. I was impressed with that. That's very that's exciting, actually. And so I started you know, I listened to some of it and that sort of thing, but maybe you could just like just so we have it on record. So when I screw up I'm like, I don't know he told me I could say vagina is that can't say

Dana Blouin

vagina. You have to say pussy,

Mike Somerville

really? I mean, I could just run it backwards right if you've got that ability

Unknown Speaker

Give me

Mike Somerville

an example like you know the infamous elevator pitch. Wait, man, what is the Bangkok strange podcast all about?

Dana Blouin

It's the strangest shit in Bangkok. You never knew existed? Fuck yeah.

Mike Somerville

Done. I'm in sign me up. 1099

Dana Blouin

so the Cowboys team and compared to the shit

Mike Somerville

you've heard it called the bad boys of Bangkok.

Dana Blouin

Buckle up buckle up boys. Actually, we did a whole episode Woody and I on so cowboy. Like, how the fuck can it even exist? Where it is? It's right bang? Yeah, exactly.

Mike Somerville

Right. Yes. Any bank must be like Hey, hey, hey. And we got guys with briefcases full of money. Yeah, we don't need your fake boobs hanging out

Dana Blouin

is a crazy like that real estate though is get their expensive when you think about it. How much real estate must some of the most expensive real estate in Bangkok? So how much money must they be generating? Well, so pre COVID right now

Mike Somerville

none they're like about ready to go bankrupt. It's gonna be soy bankrupt really soon. How do you think maybe they're I mean, obviously historically. So in cowboy, old black guy had you know 1970s you think they just have like 70 year leases and they're paying like 100 baht a

Dana Blouin

month. There's a god that'd be crazy. Amazing if they did, but I think also back in the day also wasn't so talking to Jim she was selling Tell me also was like way outside of the city back in the day. Yeah. Right. Like if you didn't own a car and no one owned a car is a day and a half to get to. Basically.

Mike Somerville

Yeah, well, when I first started coming here, it's like, oh, you're all the way down and unknot Yeah, I don't know. I mean, the BTS goes there. I think that I don't know if I can.

Dana Blouin

Jim was telling me that. It used to be farmland. Like, that's crazy. can't that

Mike Somerville

be said for literally every place around here?

Dana Blouin

Yeah. But I mean, like when she was a kid.

Mike Somerville

She's only like, 30 right? I mean,

Dana Blouin

she's, like, almost older than 30

Mike Somerville

she's got a driver's license. Let's just throw that out there in case the trolls area young guy, you know?

Dana Blouin

Yeah, she's older than 30 Okay, there you go.

Mike Somerville

So 30 years ago, I mean, even my buddy started coming here in 2000 and even 20 years ago I mean, it's not you know, there was no internet right? I mean, like literally you would like handwriting letters to your loved one that you like found Yeah, brought back. But in the last I've been coming here for seven years. Yeah. So but two years or so after you definitely came? Yeah. And you know, my first time on the BTS nobody was taking it. Yeah, did that I would ask the ties like this is a mate it's brand new. It's clean. It's like super reliable. Too expensive. Too expensive you know and now I'm the only foreigner on there

Dana Blouin

Yeah, I can't fit yeah it's not a lot of foreigners left in Thailand well that's there's that Yeah. And I'll tell you one of the things that's that I love about the BTS with the expansions it's not super convenient. Not all the expansions are great, but like because you like the one that goes up with poverty you have to like go to match it to so you're right but and that's the worst of the worst. It's not that bad right? There's very few places in the city you can't go

Mike Somerville

agree now Yeah,

Dana Blouin

and the fact that they built a lot of subway additional subway is crazy. That loop

Mike Somerville

that they have and then I think I mean, I was just saying earlier tonight I think in the next 10 years Bangkok is going to be the best city in the world.

Dana Blouin

I would argue it's the best city in the world now

Mike Somerville

and you know, it's a good point because it's like okay, what's what's the metric like what metric Am I using? I mean it's awesome this awesomeness amazeballs I mean to

Dana Blouin

valid metric Yeah, Bangkok's number one Come on. I

Mike Somerville

mean, it's got Bangkok strange. For God's sake, for God's sakes. Best

Dana Blouin

podcast ever ever. Yeah, there we go.

Mike Somerville

I'm gonna chess pump later, which is why we're pretty big. But I'm sure the lights won't come

Dana Blouin

crashing down on us. The whole studio collapses

Mike Somerville

ships downstairs. What did you guys want? You're right next to each other. Why are you yelling? Even Thai people don't scream that loud. True. Yeah.

Dana Blouin

Luckily, my neighbors don't live next door saying goodness.

Mike Somerville

Yeah. Because and if they worked for PBS all the worse. Would you guys just quiet it down? Please. We would like to just have a conversation quiet. Please talk to one another just talk. It's a podcast. It's not a screencast The

Dana Blouin

one thing I would say is interesting. Public Spaces. Right. So like, parks, and we'll probably do whole episodes on like, lupini Yeah, for sure. I know. You love lumpini you're out there walking all the time. I love them. I think it's a great Park. Um, the other night, Jim and I were watching Ocean's eight. Okay, the women's women's one. Yeah. And there was a shot of Central Park. Okay. And I was like, this is probably like 20 loopiness.

Mike Somerville

By real estate you mean?

Dana Blouin

Yeah. Is it really that big? central parks huge. Is it okay? I think like you don't realize like it. I never realized until I the first time I ever saw an overhead. Yeah, right. For sure. How fucking be is I know. I've been to this little section. Yeah, chaupar. Right. That's true. They feel like they've got the rambles in there. They've got like, all that space. That's just not even as like open.

Mike Somerville

Yeah, it's I don't know the balloon Piney. I mean, honestly, I mean, I've been here for almost a year and I walk over there probably walked over there at least eight, nine, maybe 10 times already. I still get lost over there. Yeah, I'm like cruising around. And I'm like, wait a minute, where? Where's the buildings? Like, I'm still turned around. So I mean, Central Park, that must happen all the time, then

Dana Blouin

I would have Matt like, there's like all these running trails. I'm sure. It's like, maybe not 20. I should look up. I should probably do fact checking before I

Mike Somerville

destroy what is our global information network where you could almost type in

Dana Blouin

full sentences. There was like some type of indexed website where you could like search for comparisons in the same sort of semantic algorithm to tell it doesn't exist. Maybe

Mike Somerville

10 years from now. 20 years? Is what is this even a laptop? on your lap anymore? Yeah, no. invalid. I

Dana Blouin

have a laptop on the desktop. Yes. Come on. Focus. Stupid. What's wrong with me? But you're pretty Bangkok strange.

Dana Blouin

Working in

Mike Somerville

radio engineer,

Dana Blouin

but i think i think that lumpini is like one of those really dope parks. And I was explaining to Jim though, I was like, look at this, like public space in. In New York and Boston. They have the Boston Commons public garden. Yeah. pretty small. It's kind of like a chocolate shop. Yeah. Right. And they're not in like, when you think of it. I remember the first time I went to Central Park after having lived in Boston for years. And I'm like, Holy fuck Boston. Common sucks. Yeah.

Mike Somerville

But you know, what's funny is like, so I grew up, you know, near Boston area, too. And everything is small. Yeah, like, the streets are small. They're not wide. I mean, because, you know, I mean, I don't know when Boston started. I mean, I know that my hometown was incorporated in 1635. Yeah. And that was before Boston. Yeah. But obviously there was Boston and then there was you know, people there long before the guy rode his horse.

Dana Blouin

That's like the north end in Boston. Right.

Mike Somerville

Plenty of Italians there long before there was the United States. Yeah, you know, but But yeah, everyone should only this.

Dana Blouin

They make a good spaghetti sauce. There's a Bovis bakery. 24 hour bakery and yeah, both has baked even now in Boston, I assume. And even with COVID

Mike Somerville

I mean, they're Italian

Dana Blouin

24 hour bake.

Mike Somerville

I get it right. Well, we should probably order something

Dana Blouin

from I wish it delivered to Bangkok. Come

Mike Somerville

on. They know us here Boston,

Dana Blouin

the Bangkok pasta to BC overnight overnight.

Mike Somerville

Yes. repatriation of the goddamn bakery. I need some bread repatriated over here too.

Dana Blouin

But yeah, so Chinatown's kind of like that in Thailand, though. Like that. Like those Pang area is kind of like the north end like it's old, small, cramped.

Mike Somerville

Yeah. And then there's, you know, one kind of person, I suppose. I mean, it's not just the thing about the north end is it really is like 99% Italian. Yeah, for the most part, Chinatown. There's plenty of Vietnamese over in Chinatown.

Dana Blouin

Like Chinese Vietnamese. Yeah. In Bangkok. I mean, yeah, exactly. Yeah.

Mike Somerville

But walk and then Chinatown in Boston is a joke.

Dana Blouin

It's like one block. Yeah, exactly. isn't even one anymore. It?

Mike Somerville

Yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, it is. Because you like you leave the train station and you walk away from the freeway. And it's like, Yeah,

Dana Blouin

that one block off Washington pretty much down to the little gate.

Mike Somerville

And it's not like Chinese at all. It's ridiculous.

Dana Blouin

Not anymore. They used to be a porn shop. They're called Liberty books.

Mike Somerville

Okay. Pretty clandestine. Yeah, Mom, I'm going to Liberty books. Okay, Michael, we'll make sure you get that Paul reveres book that we were talking about absolute

Dana Blouin

liberty. Yeah. Paul Revere is right.

Mike Somerville

That's an entire show. What are good porn movie names? You know?

Dana Blouin

Bangkok strange will be a great

Mike Somerville

Bangkok I mean, my god his stuff writes itself. I land what kind

Dana Blouin

of cocky got going on over there. That's my black cop. This is your

Mike Somerville

black cock. We're in Bangkok

Dana Blouin

Black Hawk official beverage of Bangkok streams a host of

Mike Somerville

be clear, just in case their sponsors watch it. It's

Dana Blouin

good. Neil Black Hawk. It's a little rough when it first hits your lips, but then it gives you this nice creamy sort of aftertaste and leaves you feeling warm inside.

Mike Somerville

Now if you're just joining the show right now and all you caught was the second half of that cock in your mouth and leave the you know, leave that aftertaste. Then I encourage you to rewind at least two minutes to get that entire piece. Don't Don't take it out of context.

Dana Blouin

It's actually a really horrible great alcohol. I just love the name you just saw when I got the name Blackhawk I often send bottles back to my friends in the US

Unknown Speaker

Oh Steve What did your friend Dana from Bangkok San Yeah,

Mike Somerville

not that black man he just you know little water spring water. Don't Don't worry about this. Just don't worry about the man behind the curtain. The shell in the draw. All right. Well you throughout Thailand, Thailand, and I know what reference that was. I'm sure everybody else does to

Dana Blouin

Thailand. capitalise Bangkok. Oh my god. Everyone loves Thailand. I loved it. Leaders are doing a great job in five.

Mike Somerville

But they're making all of our washing machines. We took all of them to Thailand, but then

Dana Blouin

he corrected himself direct himself but what kind of idiot says Thailand?

Mike Somerville

So again, I'm not gonna support nor am I gonna chastise you know the guy because he is who he is. And that's actually we probably should talk about leadership and another one because you and I come in here on the tooktook right. Yeah, we were talking about the leadership here and obviously, you know, you can watch anybody you can watch a captain of a football team. You go oh my god that guy's doing it's so stupid. I'm sitting here from my rocking chair. I can do so much better than you know this guy. McSorley. What the hell are you doing on the ice? stick down you you squat to pee For God's sake. You know?

Dana Blouin

Everyone's squats to pee up. Squat. You've been to a Bruins game? Unfortunately Yeah, again

Mike Somerville

13 year old kids use it black which

Dana Blouin

is much worse like yeah, so

Mike Somerville

then you look down to like, do they haven't you drop the puck yet? But then of course what did they say? Drop the puck you fat fuck. Come on red ice red ice. You know his

Dana Blouin

mom's cheering him on? Yeah, absolutely.

Mike Somerville

You sit there like dude is calculus homework? You know? And

Dana Blouin

yeah, one of the things that COVID is the thing that we really get brought up a lot. We were talking about this. I don't want to get political on the show. But I mean, I gotta give props where props is doing Yes, no leadership here in Thailand Really? pulled it out. And we have no new cases the only new cases we have are when assholes come here with COVID Yeah, precisely right. We're not contracting everyone's wearing masks. No one's complaining about their God given long respiratory system freedoms. There's no there's no Florida in Thailand. There's no Portland in Thailand.

Mike Somerville

Jesus. Yeah, I mean, there's dude. Well,

Dana Blouin

you were here. The coup free coup.

Mike Somerville

I was actually I wasn't free coup that's for sure. But I was here during the coup so towards the end of it yellow shirts retro

Dana Blouin

pre coup is a that was a bit Portland ish. Oh, was it? Yeah, but there's no Florida here right no one's mentioned about a man Yeah, no, everyone's like there's no Karen's going into going into stores being like I don't need to wear a mask got that's not a law that's a regulation you don't know the law. I know the law I'm a tax payer there's none of that here. Everyone was a fucking mask. Why? Because it's a smart fucking thing to do.

Mike Somerville

There's no downside. There's no doubt How is it in

Dana Blouin

all this is improved by it's 120 degrees in fucking humid here. And everyone wears a fucking man. Yeah, all the time, right? Occasionally you see some asshole pull it down below their nose. Like they're fucking Oh, yeah, they're walking in and someone's gonna be like, Yo fucking Pull your mask up and they'll they'll they'll rock it up. But this is the thing. It's everyone does it here, you know, and it's just how it is.

Mike Somerville

So that's interesting. It's and that could be with or without the current leader. Yeah, the ties are like very tough.

Dana Blouin

No one's telling them to do it. Right. And this is a thing. It's culture all over Asia. Yeah. Philippines, Philippines. I've been to every country in Southeast Asia. If you're sick, you wear a mask out of respect for everyone else around you. And you don't bitch about well, you're messing up God's respiratory system that he created. Well, first, you're dumb. You too. That's not true. Right?

Mike Somerville

in three years. Plus the whole social norm. Yeah, they are what they want to be Thai people want to be Thai. Yeah, they want to be a Thai they want to be a representative of Thailand. And I gotta tell you, I mean, this is maybe a little bit too serious, but and not vulgar enough for you. But I mean, it's I I'm starting to adopt that over here. Yeah, I go outside and I'm like, I gotta put my mask on.

Dana Blouin

I left the house the other day without my glasses. Oh, yeah. fuckin Luckily, I have my bandana right. Back that my bandana but and then I got on the BTS like, Oh, we can't wear the bandana. You have to buy a mask. Really? 15 bucks. So right.

Mike Somerville

Oh, and a coat? Yeah, of course. They have it for you. Right? Yes.

Dana Blouin

The missing thing. So they said, but it's only 15 bucks.

Dana Blouin

50 cents all day long.

Dana Blouin

All day long. It's a nice man. Yeah, right. It's not a bad mass. It's 15 bucks. Mr. T. Didn't they give out a million of them? Yeah, you want a million. And then the government says we got four here at the house.

Mike Somerville

Oh, they sent it to homeowners.

Dana Blouin

Yeah. Nice work. Yeah. So they sent them to every address. So you probably have something in your mailbox somewhere in your condo that you don't know about?

Mike Somerville

I don't think so. I think the ties come in like this gringo doesn't need it. Man.

Dana Blouin

They sent them to every address the ones that the government sent out. Were really nice. I did not get any I usable cloth and they were like really big. Rip

Mike Somerville

it like the white one Jim was wearing. It's got like the craziness

Dana Blouin

over that's one that we make here. But the ones that they send out like expandable, they're the folded pleated ones. Okay. Okay. Yes. I mean, just four of them. Nice. Yeah. So we got four of them here. I think it's like per they because we have two addresses here. Right. So it's like, these are two houses. All

Mike Somerville

right, to double. Yeah. So it's a double wide? Yes, a double wide. So I think they sent they sent two per watt per single wise. So here's what's crazy in the US. What's everyone talking about wanting the government to send them? My cash, right? Oh, my God, I'm unemployed. And it's all you're following. Whereas in Thailand, it's not like these people are over employed. I mean, now again, it's Bangkok. Strange. Yeah. Bangkok back to work. Yeah. Bangkok is out Full Tilt Boogie in the morning. There's friggin traffic. Yeah, there's not as many tourists down at Wat po. Yeah. But for the most part. I mean, the malls are now hotels are hurting. Yes, for sure.

Dana Blouin

Tourism is tourism is one of the biggest industry if not the biggest industry in Thailand.

Mike Somerville

Yeah, it would be number two. I mean, that was like 20% ish, right?

Dana Blouin

Yeah. So it's pretty big. I don't know what the overall numbers are tourism. Probably petroleum would come in second automotive right motor. Yeah. Pretty big one. But scaling back now what a motor is moving. So it's leaving Thailand? Oh, really? Yeah. So tourism, petroleum?

Mike Somerville

Certainly not technology. I mean, is it still making a ton of rice? I mean, obviously not as much as China

Dana Blouin

agriculture, actually. So Thailand at one point was the largest exporter of rice right now. Right? They're like number two?

Mike Somerville

Yeah. If I mean number three, at the outset.

Dana Blouin

Yeah, there might be some agriculture still big with tourism, like dollars for donuts for dollars is the biggest

Mike Somerville

they sell donuts here. Yeah, I love dunkin donuts. You know, we should meet at Dunkin Donuts and have pizza next door. What a fantasy. That would be the best

Dana Blouin

pizza place in the world. Why

Mike Somerville

aren't they? They should be an advertiser. Right? We're gonna do this show. We're gonna take this goddamn bench into power. And be like, Look, just keep bringing the goddamn pizza. It's an hour show. Suck it up. They're gonna be yelling

Dana Blouin

the whole time to do that one meter pizza that? Absolutely. The problem is this bench would be like probably 50% of Paul.

Mike Somerville

Yeah, that's true. That's true. Yeah, that wouldn't work.

Dana Blouin

Apparently they used to be half the size like that whole back area behind the wall. Good for them.

Mike Somerville

Yeah, I love here and how

Dana Blouin

expensive must that that location?

Mike Somerville

Well, when they first got it, it was probably like, Oh my god, how the hell are we going to rent this friggin real estate underneath the stairs? Yeah,

Dana Blouin

this is a goofy looking.

Mike Somerville

Yeah, some guy. Give me like 1000 baht a month. And I'm just gonna put this stove in there. Don't worry about the size of the stove. It's just gigantic. It's like, you know, two meters wide. But you know what, I'm just gonna be making some bread stuff. You Thais won't eat that, you know,

Dana Blouin

the foot traffic. The footfall is gonna be half a million people.

Mike Somerville

But you know, it's crazy. Like when you said I didn't know Paulo is there. Yeah, I know that Dunkin Donuts was there because I've gone You know, I had no idea that

Dana Blouin

I probably walked by 1000 times before I ever knew it was

Mike Somerville

okay. But Duncan you saw, of course crazy. With that hold on his shitty coffee. Perfect. It's a Dunkin

Dana Blouin

no bagels here. No, absolutely no

Mike Somerville

no English muffins. Now it's they they pronounce the R and croissant. Yeah, so excessively embossed and it's not even funny. Robbie, can you give me a croissant from way back

Dana Blouin

there. The funny thing is the Dunkin Donuts here. They make The Japanese style donuts and they do Thai style coffee right? So it's like condensed milk milk coffee, like a little slasher coffee, mixed it up with some ice boom. probably half a pound of sugar

Mike Somerville

best. Yeah, it's the best coffee. I love it. On the side of the street in the thing it says Nestle is like an umbrella. It's all welded to the side of his motorbike. He pulls it out of a sock. It is the blackest of black Cox I've ever seen in my life. And he pours like maybe this much in Yeah, and then the rest of it has to be sweetened. condensed milk, ice, everything else and then when I taste it, it's still strong.

Dana Blouin

Yeah, it's excellent cooking Jamaica. No. How do you make that kind of a coffee at home? So usually that's a incent either, so if it's in the sock and the coffee bar on Yeah, it's Thai classic coffee and mixed with milk and condensed milk.

Mike Somerville

No, no, but in the in the thing in the sock. It is super black. There's no way there's no melt. There's that just coffee?

Dana Blouin

No, it's coffee and herbs. Oh, is that cafe boron. boron?

Mike Somerville

Yes and Burundians herbs. I don't know what the fuck Oh, come on, man. You like half Thai for Christ's sake.

Dana Blouin

Throw some nouns out there. So it the call. It's it's a very traditional Thai type of coffee. And they just Yeah, they throw it in the sock and they pour through and leave it in there. It's basically like this much condensed milk. This much milk. This much sugar. Right. This much coffee. Yeah, right. It's still

Mike Somerville

pitch black and it is excellent. Yeah, it tastes excellent. I wake up.

Dana Blouin

Now I don't drink it because I can't I don't eat any dairy. I'll die. Essentially

Mike Somerville

sweetened condensed milk isn't real milk.

Dana Blouin

It's got lactose and Ah, okay. All right. Got it. I can't eat. This milk is milk. It's just sweetened condensed

Mike Somerville

milk. They just squeeze it out of it's really sweet. condense it now it's a small dense cow.

Dana Blouin

Yeah. So it's super lactose.

Mike Somerville

lactose just fucking killed right? Yeah, it's like rubbing your like if I were to rub cheese on your head like you would explode Yeah, pretty like so against it.

Dana Blouin

And Jim would not be happy. Yeah,

Mike Somerville

yeah, I don't want to do that. I do not want

Dana Blouin

to make it if I eat dairy. Jim is not a happy camper

Mike Somerville

though. Yeah, she's probably following you around with a frickin bomb gun. You know, just yeah, just

Dana Blouin

drop the bomb. Yeah, go ahead. So but I've had the the vegan version of the J version of cafe cafe bar on Thai Thai coffee. Okay with like, sweet and like crazy sweet and soy milk. Okay. And it's amazing.

Mike Somerville

They make it on the street but sorry, my card you have to go.

Dana Blouin

Especially usually like a specialty shop is a time of year called the J festival in Bangkok. Where for like 14 days they only have vegan food. I've heard of that. When is that? August September. So come on. Okay, awesome. We brought you an entire show on it. Yes. And this is the thing like it's the most unhealthy delicious vegan. Ever awesome. So when you go to eat like j food during the J festival essentially ties think oh veteran you don't want vegetables he just fried tofu. Fried fake meat fried oil, right? Tons of oil here and good to go. But there's no meat.

Mike Somerville

No meat, not a shitload of veggies.

Dana Blouin

But no usually like they they skimp on the vegetables. It's like everyone just wants fake me. So they do like that fake crab meat. Like all that stuff. So it was like everything. Actually, some of the fake meat is like, not horrible. So they do like a traditional j like vegan

Mike Somerville

letter J je y. And that means

Dana Blouin

like, so it's not actually the word for vegan Okay, it's a religious term. Okay, it's it's vegan but also no garlic or onion or like chive Okay, it smells strong Buddhist thing. Yeah. Okay, it's a Buddhist thing. But so they don't do a lot of vegetables for like some of the restaurants like that are always j restaurants are always vegan places will do a lot of vegetable. Like the people who convert for the 14 days, like they shift their business right? They just straight up like tofu fake meat, but there's a vegan A j version of salted fish that they put in the canggih Okay, that the first time I've ever had I felt like I'll just see like this piece of j fish and it's very salty. I'm like yeah, like salty stuff. I got this right not realizing it's like 90% salt. And you're supposed to like break a piece off and put it in a big pot of like this was a break one little piece and put it in a big bowl of of like canggih and I'm just like, so salty, but it's delicious. But yeah, some of the J food is just like insanely unhealthy it's like deep fried then fried again and oil in a wok with like a little bit of trying to limit it to to eat

Mike Somerville

Yeah, like otherwise everyone's gonna frickin die Don't pay their taxes.

Dana Blouin

Everyone's having a hard time because again, high

Dana Blouin

blood pressure

Mike Somerville

medical tourism started then MSG and everything

Dana Blouin

is delicious, right? Because it's fatty and salty and like that's what makes stuff good. So it's for two weeks. Yeah.

Mike Somerville

And is that that's probably not gonna be canceled. That's probably gonna go that's

Dana Blouin

probably a lot yeah, cuz there's no drinking or partying like song grown with that because they

Dana Blouin

canceled song ground if you remember. They did and then they brought back

Mike Somerville

like, what, two or three days of it a couple weeks ago. So

Dana Blouin

what happened is they it's a four day holiday album. Yeah So Emily yeah but it's like four days of debauchery drinking and like high death rates and from car accidents

Mike Somerville

in the in the debauchery areas I mean I've been up in Nakhon ratchasima during sankranti like like in the white yeah no alcohol no strippers which of course is why I left again the bank

Dana Blouin

Bangkok all about the lady boy stripper Bangkok slapping you with the Sure. Bangkok in here. Yes. Um, wake me up, Patty. All right. All right. But yes, for sure. But drinking is a big part of that. And every year there's like all these motorcycle accidents. Absolutely. Highest death rate in the world. Great. Um, you know, yeah, dangerous roads and right in the world. Yeah. So we were number two for a long time ties tried really hard. They want to be number one. They

Dana Blouin

got it and yet they're holding on to it. They're not stopping but

Dana Blouin

this year because they cancelled it. No deaths. Right. Very little drunk driving. Yeah, bet. And the whole reason was to stop people from congregate Yeah, it's getting the virus

Mike Somerville

plus with all the water. They didn't know all the germs. I mean, I've done I've done Songkran in pottier twice. When I first came to Thailand, I did a whole bunch of potty. Yeah, whenever I talk to other guys that have come over to here, they're like, Oh, well, maybe I should go and check out the temples. I'm like, Look, dude, here's the thing. You got to get the potty out of your system. Because there is no place like it in the war.

Dana Blouin

Or more likely you have to get the patio into your system. Then take antibiotics. They go to bourbon grab and get by. And you'll be good. Um, but so no, it's your patio patio. It's a shit show. It is a shit. Yeah. The same with Bangkok. St. Paul Bangkok as should show Yeah. Phuket's a shisha like putana Yeah, totally. Yeah. I'm not a Phuket fan. I have friends who live there. I can't do it.

Mike Somerville

So when you say Phuket

Dana Blouin

there's nothing strange about Phuket.

Mike Somerville

Do they not? Do they live in Patong? area?

Dana Blouin

No, they all live on over there. Like we're all the muy Thai gyms all the MMA gyms like all my friends are fighters who live in Phuket.

Mike Somerville

Okay, so like Phuket town.

Dana Blouin

I don't know some kids. I forget what the name of this it's not a very high

Mike Somerville

because here's the thing. I mean, I went over there and of course right now Patong Beach completely empty. Yeah. As is like potty and everything. But I mean, like serene beach. So

Dana Blouin

last time I was there. We stayed in certain beaches. Beautiful. Yeah,

Dana Blouin

totally. It's great. We had a villa is gorgeous.

Dana Blouin

Yes. Um, I liked it. Don't get me wrong. If you go to the right part of Phuket. It's relaxing, but I can't live there. No, no, right. It's this is this. Like, I have friends who live there. They love it. They go to the beach every day. Fuck that. Yeah, like I need fast internet. I need like consistent mobile coverage.

Mike Somerville

That's interesting. So I was down there. I'm thinking okay, very modern. And they even said they were gonna have like a smart city or something. Right. I was able that I actually

Dana Blouin

pitched on that project like five years ago.

Mike Somerville

And the internet there is not fast. No. and Thailand. I mean, potty is very fast and not even Bangkok. It's super fast. Yeah.

Dana Blouin

Then I got a gig here. Yeah,

Mike Somerville

yeah. See? So they're not even 3g in Phuket Yeah, the speeds don't even seem three jobs. I mean, cuz I was doing live streams, remember? Yeah, yeah. So I mean, it was 3g and stuff but I mean, it was it's not Bangkok that's not speedy. No, no. And constrain the amount of tourists I get there. Very weird thing.

Dana Blouin

Sure,

Mike Somerville

because it increases everyone posts their pic Oh my god. Look how beautiful Phuket it.

Dana Blouin

I don't even think you can get 100 megabytes symmetrical connection there. Huh?

Mike Somerville

No. Well, maybe like into your house.

Dana Blouin

I think you'd be like a 110 Yeah, probably, but not a 100 symmetrical. Okay, enough nerd talk. Oh my gosh.

Mike Somerville

Let's just break up the back of this man.

Dana Blouin

Let's start subnetting Here we go. There we go.

Dana Blouin

break this down to binary give me a slash 32.

Dana Blouin

Anyway, on the binary joke, let's wrap up this first episode. Sounds great. Welcome to Mike. Thank you very much, guys. You know, we're back. We're going to be consistent. I got Mike on board. He's gonna keep me honest. Yeah. keep me accountable. To keep me lying. Yeah, keep coming with weekly episodes. We've got a very interesting episode coming up this week. We're actually going to be recording interview with Dr. Tony. Huge, awesome. assuming he shows up out he'll show up huge, huge. Can't miss him. No, but that should be interesting. very controversial. Very strange. In fact, he said I

Mike Somerville

want to be on the show. So you guys can question me. Yeah.

Dana Blouin

And it will be strained. I'll be back.

Mike Somerville

Yeah, absolutely. I can't wait. It's gonna set the tone for the rest of the decade.

Dana Blouin

Alright guys, don't forget to subscribe. Check us out. YouTube Spotify, Google Play. Mike's gonna be doing the YouTube channel. I'll be on iTunes Facebook. Until next time, stay strange peace.